And today I was reminded. I can never lift your burden, as you can never lift mine. We are alone. We are always alone. We simply chose to be lonely together.


End of an era

It’s not like I got the news late, it’s just I am too baffled to directly post your google image and personal opinion and condolences once I heard it.

Some might say that my reaction is a bit much. They can say what they like. But they must admit that in life, there are some people we never met but change our life much more than some others we have. For me, you are one of those people. You and the band takes huge chunk of the holistic reason why I do what I do, I write what I write, I think what I think, and the topics to my fascination.

Sure, you are no stellar example. Your life is not exactly the most virtuous, and you end it so abruptly. I am as much angry as I am sad for you. Don’t you know that there are many others who still need your saving? Hell, I might still need your saving in the future. Don’t you know how much you have changed the world, and how much you can still change it?

Sure, with all today’s idol who talked mostly about themselves and post funny stuff to run from the world’s inevitable bitterness, your work might not transcend the society as much as before. It’s the age of happiness, right? People want to be fooled by funny posts, cheerful tunes and joking heroes, while you talked about truth, about power, about harshness of depart and despair of disappointment. You have less and less room, but so do I! And yet I do not succumb, I chose to change. I changed because I know we have no place in this cheerful world, we have to please others so they will pay some mind to us.

Why can’t you change? Why can’t you accept, endure, and let go? You said to me that if you feel cold and lost in desperation, when you build up hope, but failure‚Äôs all you know, just remember all the sadness and frustration, and let it go. Years before that selfish, coming-of-age blonde makes the phrase so popular among preteens, you gave the words much deeper meaning. Yet you failed to do so yourself.

Maybe you’re getting too tired. Maybe I cannot fathom what you must gone through each moment of your life.

I guess now we come to this. This is the first time in my life that I actually lost an idol. Before the pop sensations, the gossips, and controversies, there were you. Screaming what you think was right into the mind of my generation, without banality of today’s celebrities. Thank you for showing me how to listen, and to see more than daily sensations.