End of an era

It’s not like I got the news late, it’s just I am too baffled to directly post your google image and personal opinion and condolences once I heard it.

Some might say that my reaction is a bit much. They can say what they like. But they must admit that in life, there are some people we never met but change our life much more than some others we have. For me, you are one of those people. You and the band takes huge chunk of the holistic reason why I do what I do, I write what I write, I think what I think, and the topics to my fascination.

Sure, you are no stellar example. Your life is not exactly the most virtuous, and you end it so abruptly. I am as much angry as I am sad for you. Don’t you know that there are many others who still need your saving? Hell, I might still need your saving in the future. Don’t you know how much you have changed the world, and how much you can still change it?

Sure, with all today’s idol who talked mostly about themselves and post funny stuff to run from the world’s inevitable bitterness, your work might not transcend the society as much as before. It’s the age of happiness, right? People want to be fooled by funny posts, cheerful tunes and joking heroes, while you talked about truth, about power, about harshness of depart and despair of disappointment. You have less and less room, but so do I! And yet I do not succumb, I chose to change. I changed because I know we have no place in this cheerful world, we have to please others so they will pay some mind to us.

Why can’t you change? Why can’t you accept, endure, and let go? You said to me that if you feel cold and lost in desperation, when you build up hope, but failure’s all you know, just remember all the sadness and frustration, and let it go. Years before that selfish, coming-of-age blonde makes the phrase so popular among preteens, you gave the words much deeper meaning. Yet you failed to do so yourself.

Maybe you’re getting too tired. Maybe I cannot fathom what you must gone through each moment of your life.

I guess now we come to this. This is the first time in my life that I actually lost an idol. Before the pop sensations, the gossips, and controversies, there were you. Screaming what you think was right into the mind of my generation, without banality of today’s celebrities. Thank you for showing me how to listen, and to see more than daily sensations.




Come forth

When the world stops compromising what you have to do.

There is little room for questions, narrow corner for lessons.

But in that little world only I know.

I imagine you there, smiling in sorrow.

Little sad Rabbit

In that empty and unreliable space, there is a little whisper that still cannot be unsaid.

The journey to the sky and that part when we chose to depart.

Maybe a figment of you must live, and there is also another way for me to give. A little emptiness that comes easier when you are not around.

Did you finally reach to that crossroad, when you choose happiness over longing?

I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And by the corner of a place where you used to paint our little world. Of hope about tomorrow and spending our old days quietly with no noise of motorized machines. The little things we miss stay like broken toys and kindergarten swings.

Let go of that balloon, let it soar so high, far from your eyesight ever hope to gaze. But that balloon will eventually fall, and he will not find anyone who are still holding the thin thread. Is falling down also a part of letting go? or maybe that little sad rabbit just drawn too deep into tomorrow, and cannot bear to see her soaring balloon left with no one to follow.

And if you have a minute why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go
Somewhere only we know?

And maybe there, we can pretend that our tomorrow can still come.

And maybe there, the simplest of things that we forgot still reside.

They are waiting for us to finally find our way back.