Prayer for the light

He was sitting alone, in a solemn look and two legs folded, he stared at the low ceiling.

Despite the small room he’s in. He could clearly see how he is now in a boundless realm; One belongs to the owner of the whole world.

He opened the carpet, trying to remember all the things happened to him after the last time he spread the same carpet in a different room. Remembering Him can be done anywhere.

Despite what most people think of the silly soldier, he is not without faith. He simply got too much concern, and he cannot justified truth for the world. So he chose not of a single truth. He believes that anyone can have their own version, and that is good. He believes kindness can overcome any evil, any misjudgement, any aberration.

So in his reflection, he showed gratitude for today’s blessing. He refrained any hope. He is too happy; hoping for anything more would be greedy. This joyous dazzle is so unfamiliar to him. Happiness, he thought, is such a strange state where nothing can be done. All he could do was to accept, smile, and for his case, jumped around in ecstatic mirth.

I guess that’s what you do when you’re in love. You stop hoping for yourself, for being in love itself is enough of blessing for you. He was clueless for some times, knowing not of what he needs to do with all the overwhelming joy. But then he found the one thing he can do.

He prayed. He expressed the fireworks inside his head, the blazing garden inside his heart. He prayed not for himself, for what she gave him is much more than enough. He prayed for her; for her well-being and her happiness. He prayed nothing but the best for her.

For He, who govern our world, weaves the thread of fate, bring about grief, happiness and hate. Here I beg Your forgiveness, as you have given me too much. Know no matter how much I try to give back, they are incomparable to Your abundant blessing. And yet You give me more. You showed me her eyes, her smile, her laughter and her words. You told me that loving can be easy, and as I listen Your signs, I was overwhelmed by Your endless grace.

But it is our nature to ask more; I am built to bow to the humanity inside me. And so hear me, my world. Hear yet another wish I hope you grant me.

If I am to bring her happiness too, in the future where we are one, not two, let her stay with me, in all summers and rainy days. But if I am to bring her misery, and if there is a version of your future that I hurt her deeply. Take her away from me. For my happiness is not worthy of her grief. And if I cannot be the best for her, I would rather leave

He recited the words over and over. He must do so otherwise he cannot find content. After he finished, he closed his eyes. For some moments, he gathered all possibilities in his mind, things that could bring her closer or farther. And he accepted all of them.
For life takes and life gives. The silly soldier only gets to sit back, and enjoy the ride.


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